December 19, 2011. Happy Birthday Grandma- your gift? The Korea you knew as a child...

Gloria Kim:
one korea? Let's pray for change !
Like Unlike · · Yesterday at 10:31pm via BlackBerry

Comments:
"Idealistically a united korea would be great, realistically south korea would suffer so much economically if they were to unite."
"North Korea has a lot more natural resources that can, in fact, benefit South Korea's economy."
"That may be true but there's so much poverty in the north that trying to help them all would hurt the south"
"I think there are a lot of South Koreans who would prefer not to go through the economic consequences of integrating an entire nation of millions who are living in sub-human conditions. Look at what happened when the wall fell in Germany. Human nature is selfish. Just look to the homeless and destitute in our own streets of Toronto. Sad but true. "

Above are a few comments that were left on my Facebook status momentarily after posting what I hope to see in the future. One Korea. The Korea my grandparents grew up in and subsequently watched as it was torn apart.

What I posted was written out of sheer hope to see change in the land my grandparents left for the future generation of our family. What caught my attention and quite honestly left me feeling quite upset was how quick people commented on the economics of Kim Jong-Il's death.

Yes, North Korea is an impoverished nation that has uncertainty written all over it's future. Yes, there is speculation that Kim Jong-Un could be more radical than his father. Yes, their economy is in complete and utter shambles. Yes, the people of North Korea are severely brainwashed.

But you know what, the world is filled with problems like these and there are proponents to see change. Whole nations are starving just like North Korea, but North Korea's never been able to have a loud audible voice to fight for them because of their leaders.

My heart breaks for that nation because at the end of the day, we are the same people. Economics matter--trust, I'm all for capitalism; bschool education will do that to you--but humanity shouldn't be compromised. It's a terrible notion to think that we shouldn't want a nation to be united because of the potential negative economic impact. What about the human condition? What happens if we don't do anything? Our economy stays the same and grows, but millions of people continue to starve. People who never had a choice to live on the other side of the DMZ.

For a long time today I was contemplating how I was going to write this blog post...As a second generation Korean-Canadian, the emotional impact of what happened in my country is hard to identify with. Until recently, the Japanese occupation and the whole mystery of North Korea, South Korea didn't mean much to me. In fact, I grew up vehemently stating that I was a Canadian. Being Korean was irrelevant.

How ignorant and foolish- my family's history has everything to do with who I am today. My grandmother's life was so intertwined with the happenings of the North and South split, it literally wrecked me when we the 2nd generation learned about her past.
Ironically, today was my grandmother's birthday. The day after Kim Jong-Il passed away, we celebrated her life and never mentioned his. This is her story and why I feel strongly about a united Korea.

Kim Myung-Soon (nee Chang Myung-Soon) was born into Korea's high society. Imagine Gossip Girl, but back in the olden days of Asia.
My grandmother was raised just outside of Seoul on her father's tobacco estate. In fact, he was well-known in Korea as the first individual to graduate with an English degree from Yonsei University (one of Korea's top 3 universities) and a gifted violinist. In their city he financed the development of the first school and to this day it still educates hundreds of students each year.
Being the eldest daughter of one of high-societies wealthiest and well-educated families, her birthright was a blessing and a curse. It sounds cliche, but it is true because of the Asian ancestry. She wasn't a boy therefore the family name could not continue.

She was born and raised with the expectation to be married off to a family of equal or greater status. In fact, because of those unwritten rules, the highest form of education she received was some grade in jr.high. The exact grade? I'm not sure... she's never told me. Come to think of it, my grandmother's never told us much about her past...everything we know is from our great aunts and her kids. My great aunts told us that she was the gem of society. An absolute doll and she use to have servants who would piggy back her to and from school everyday. She never had to worry about anything and was content with her role.
As our great-aunt was telling us all this, I peeked over at our halmoni (grandma in korean) and she had her hand resting against her face and she looked a bit lost in the moment. Almost as though she was thinking back to the times when she was a child. She caught me looking and just grinned at me. I didn't understand how she could laugh about the situation. From having everything, she went to having nothing...

Prior to the occupation and full-out war, my grandmother was formally engaged to a Ph.d scientist who came from a very wealthy family. On paper, her fairytale was about to come true. Her purpose in life was about to be fulfilled.All of that changed quite suddenly when the war came around. As soon as the war began, the North literally dragged all of the well-known educated people to work for them. As you can imagine, my grandmother's fiance was taken. I never got to ask her about him. How she felt, if she got the silly butterflies when she met him, or how long they knew each other before they were engaged. The facts behind her mystery man are only in her memory which she hasn't shared with us. After he was taken away, her high-society life took a turn for the worse and she would only experience hardship until recent years.

The Korean community is ruthless- even though they were never married, my grandmother was considered 'tainted' [for lack of a better word...]. Once society's darling, she was officially ruined. It was by sheer luck that she married my grandfather who came from a wealthy family. I love him to pieces, but he was no ph.d scientist. In fact, he brought with him three children, one with a severe disability and she raised all three as her own along with the other three children they had together. Again, I love my halaboji (korean for grandpa) to pieces, but he did not make life easy for her. He quite successfully ruined their wealth and moved to Canada.

She knew no english, had no education and was raised to be a socialite. She was no broke, raising 6 kids in a foreign country and working in a sewing assembly line in the ghettos of toronto.

She worked endlessly for years and years and lived out of a crappy apartment in a shitty area and never complained. She NEVER complained. I will argue that she has had the hardest life but she doesn't complain about any of it. She watched us, her grandkids, grow up and sacrificed her own happiness to see us succeed.

It pains every part of my being knowing a fraction of her life story. The gaps in between no one has told us about but needless to say her life was great until one domino fell over... the rest followed in rapid sequence. Too many times I catch myself saying "what if i had blah blah blah"... I wonder if or how many times my grandma thought to her self "What if they had never taken him?" "What if my life had worked out the way it was planned?"

The war changed the course of my ancestors' life. It severely impacted the one person in this world that I love the most and can rely on no matter what. So that is why I can say for a split second "Screw economics, help humanity". It's because of my grandmother's silent complaints that I choose to be vocal about hoping for change. She lived through it, the ramifications it had directly on her life and the hardships that followed. I have never in my life met a woman as strong as her and because of her hardwork and courage, my family is where it is today. Most Canadians have immigrant roots, and we all share the same drive. How could we waste everything our families gave up in order to establish a better life for future generations?

Somewhere in North Korea, her former husband-to-be could be alive. Everywhere in Korea (north and south) families were torn apart instantly. I'm sorry economics, but please take a back seat for now as hope and prayer aim to make a difference. At the moment, the economically sound thing to do would be to let N.Korea be; But great change never happened by 'letting things be'.

Today we celebrated my grandma's birthday. I looked at her 4'10 frame and could hardly hold back the tears thinking about the hardships she's been through without complaint. She never mentioned Kim Jong-Il, so that is why today I will say something for her. Korea was one country before and it can be one country again.